Outside The Standard

do something nice every day and be kind to your mother -

We can make a lot of guarantees about dunzo shorts, but hardly any about your computer.

That means:

• We can guarantee them to be made of plush, 100-percent cotton terry cloth.
• We can guarantee that they are beautifully cut and sewn by hand with the extra-wide waistband stitched down and the hems factory finished.
• We can guarantee them to be durable with normal wear, barring purposeful or accidental damage or foolish encounters with bleach, lighters, razor blades, sharp little puppy-teeth and other hazards in this world.
• We can guarantee post-laundering expectations. dunzos wash and dry beautifully.

However:

We cannot guarantee the exact colors because every computer monitor shows color slightly differently. If we say they are a bright kiwi green, they are. Upon receiving the shorts if they are not the bright kiwi green you had in mind, you can return them, but the shipping cost is on you. Similarly, if you don't like the way your dunzos fit, not only will you be the first person who has ever made that complaint, but that shipping is also on you. We think thats fair.

We also want to gently remind you that each pair of dunzo shorts is individually cut and sewn and so your exact pair will look very similar, but not exactly like our photos. What that means is that the patterns or stripes may fall in different spots across the shorts than the photographs you see here.

If you return a pair of dunzos because of a defect in the fabric or workmanship (it hasn't happened yet) we'll pay for shipping. That, too, is only fair!

We wish we could just come over and bring your order. We like seeing people's faces of complete satisfaction when they first try on their dunzos, but that isn't practical. So, on our honor we will ship your dunzos via UPS as soon as we can.

If we cannot ship your dunzos within five business days we'll give you a call or send you an email.

And, since we always try to help others where we can, any orders over $100 (before tax) will be shipped FREE, via Ground UPS.

(Shipping always seems like a rip off, but we have to process the order, track the paperwork, pack the dunzos, box them and address the box and take it all to the UPS guy or get him to come by here. And, contrary to grade-school art-teachers' opinions, boxes do not grow on trees. Furthermore, in keeping with the science teacher's lesson, boxes are made of trees. Lesson for us? We have to figure in the cost of the box and tissue and label and all that good stuff that keeps your dunzos safe while they are shipped.)

Return, return, return to your heart's content, just do it within 30 days of the purchase date and enclose a receipt. We will issue a refund in the amount listed on your receipt in accordance with our guarantees stated above. The form of the refund will be dependent on the original form of payment. Get it? You pay by credit card, we'll credit that same credit card. So sensible.